This
one is fresh. Still wet with dew from the cold brought on by nightfall.
I will not explain the title. You think it doesn’t need
explaining, but it does. Still, no. There is only one person who
would truly understand, and she’s no longer around. So I
remember quite well the night Christian and I met. I knew immediately
that this man would be in my life for good. During our first phone
conversation, I sat on my old, ugly, couch in my duplex on Arthur
Street, feeling permanence. I’ve no recollection of what
we talked about, but it was effortless. The history was already
there. We had covered all the fragile ground in some past life.
Or something like that. So this record has always been there too,
’twas just a matter of pulling it from the tightly clenched
teeth of the past. We spoke of such a thing for years, and finally
it just fell upon us. Like mortality. I cannot really explain
how honored I am to share a record with Christian. I think he
is brilliant. I mean that. Words not to be taken lightly. His
lyrics are the first that have ever truly compared to those of
Morrissey, whom is in my opinion, the best lyricist ever. Period.
And Christian’s songwriting possesses a depth and honesty
that is so strong, I sometimes can’t even seem to wrap my
hands around it. Fucking amazing. I won’t explain what his
half of the record is about. Ask him. Mine? Dana Dana Dana Dana
Dana. The original title in my head was "the disintegration
of bone", being a metaphor about the demise of human relationships.
It begins with my interpretation of his song “Erendira”.
It was really difficult for me to decide which song of his I wanted
to cover, but in the end this one just wouldn’t let me say
no. It seemed perfect. I remember listening to it for the first
time as Dana sat on the couch reading. The rest of the songs are
about her. Although I confess that there are little parts in “for
a ride” about my friend Rob.
If you listen closely to the beginning
of that song, there is a high pitched dinging noise... it’s
this thing out at the Berkeley pier that I can hear from my bedroom.
I wanted to document a piece of the landscape where I was living
when making this record. Somehow poignant since I’ve now
been kicked out of this house and will move in a week. Anyway,
Dana and I used to sit on the couch and sing “for a ride”
together. She always felt like her voice was weak, but I thought
it was one of the most beautiful things in the world. I don’t
think she believed me. She sang to me acapella a couple of times,
and those memories are absolutely priceless. She often underestimated
herself. “What about Dana” was written and recorded
in an hour shortly after I moved from a tent into a sublet for
the summer. We added stuff to it at Ron’s.
With the exception of that and
the last song, we recorded it all at his house. His friend Torston
helped turn knobs. He was so sweet. A few days before Thanksgiving
Dana was on my mind. I had just finished reading “Memoirs
of a Geisha”, and couldn’t stop thinking of her, so
I called. Only to discover that she really was gone. Completely.
Living with Ryan. They’re married now.
“I am nowhere” was written
spontaneously on the day after Thanksgiving while I was housesitting
at this terribly creepy, and most definitely haunted, (Kristina
agrees) house up in the woods. The vacant part of me where she
used to live felt so overwhelmingly pained. I made the lyrics
up as I recorded. I kept fucking up the piano part, for it was
so difficult to play and sing at the same time. I had to do it
in one take, for all I had was a minidisc and a mic. I finally
got it around 3am. Which I suppose was best, as I was terrified
of going to sleep there anyway. In some of the earlier versions,
you could hear the fire crackling and dogs’ paws on wood
floors. As for the rest of the players on the disc, I am confounded
about what to write. I have such love for Ron and Kristina as
people and musicians, and am so grateful for their presence in
my life, that it seems impossible to type anything. They are perfect.
They are who I’ve waited all of these years for. They are
my new religion and the center of my earth. Really. They are the
band I’ve dreamed of. We are like family. We spent some
time trying to find a drummer for the recording and Eddie just
sort of drifted in, played the most wonderful parts I could have
imagined, and drifted out.
His energy was so positive
and filled with light. I so wish that he hated jazz, and just
wanted to be in our band. And Sarah again. I couldn’t thank
her enough. So gifted and full of life. Her sweet soul gentle,
like a willow tree fluttering. Someone heard the disc recently
and asked if I was ok. Yes. I feel amazing. So alive. I feel electric
and unstoppable, like a superhero. This was my catharsis. This
was my sleep. This was my year of everything turning upside down
and landing on its feet. This was my history. And now this is
yours. “Just like a gift from God”.
TRACK LISTING
1. Erendira
2. Asleep
on the Bedroom Floor (click to listen to the MP3)
3. The Wasting of Words
4. For a Ride
(click to listen to the MP3)
5. What About Dana
6. I Am Nowhere
CHRISTIAN
KIEFER
7. Carpenter
8. Oyster
9. Radium
10. Timbuktu
11. The Curtain Hits the Cast
12. Original
13. With Fishes
14. Sorry My Love |
