11.11.02
Fall has arrived. Last night, I found myself at Muir Beach making
rock sculptures and watching the crabs scurry off, as my footsteps
fell upon their homes; the tide further out than I’ve seen.
As the sun dropped, the cold air was perfect; the mass of water
shifting as it does so gently. I stood [the epitome of solitude
and stoicism in my mind] wrapped up in layers; black scarf tightly
about my neck, arms and pockets full of rocks. Again the beach
was medicine for a weary heart. The world seems to have a way
of curling in upon itself now and then. So I sit today to write
of the new ep, sending my mind backwards on blurry streets. The
day after leaving. What a day that always is…Whether seeing
a lover for the last time, bidding farewell the ancient streets
of Spain, or clutching the hand of your grandmother as she takes
her last breath, it always carries with it the same monumental
scope of feeling; the crushing blow of an end, and the shining
hope of new things. Eternal nostalgia.
To be honest, I don’t recall how it all came about. Sometime
last spring, Kristina told us that her dear friend Gordon had
offered his studio to us at a price we could [sort of ] pay. At
one point, we had planned on tracking six songs at this session,
but due to the lack of drummer once again, we were left at the
mercy of how much time Eddie was willing to commit. The initial
plan was actually to record three six song eps, releasing limited
runs of them as we went, and then picking twelve of those eighteen
songs, for a full length to arrive this coming winter. But aside
from the inordinate amount of work necessary for that, we also
greatly underestimated the amount of money we would need. Thus
after doing only four songs, I am again banished to a diet of
tofu, rice, vegetables, and beans; healthy at least. Though I
don’t recall the actual days we recorded, I believe it was
sometime in late July and early August. We were even afforded
the luxury of playing one show together at Old Ironsides a few
days before the first session.
So we spent several months preparing at Eddie’s studio in
Oakland, and those nights felt sweet and terribly serene; memories
of driving with Kristina through the warmth of summer, sitting
in the alley waiting for the others . The alley itself was quite
beautiful…a mess of broken lives, shattered glass and trash
corrupting the street, dim light coming through like a tunnel.
It reminded me of a European city for some reason. Perhaps a small
village in Denmark or Germany. I recall arriving early one night
and greatly wanting a Popsicle. We drove to a liquor store nearby,
entered, and found ourselves standing in what may have been the
hottest room that either of us have ever experienced. It was absolutely
amazing. There is no way that I can quantify how fucking hot it
was in there. I was sweating and laughing instantly. It was overwhelmingly
oppressive. The enormous man sitting on a cheap vinyl stool behind
the counter, was sweating to death. Television blaring. Why was
he not having a heart attack? I suppose they simply couldn’t
afford to run the air conditioning. God how depressing. We laughed
and laughed and laughed. I couldn’t believe that my Popsicle
didn’t melt completely at the counter while I paid. I also
bought this strange Mexican candy that even Ron detested. We never
really decided what it tasted like. Something odd. Perhaps dirt,
with a hint of vinegar.
Anyway, the songs began to take form. We wanted to be well rehearsed,
but also wanted an element of uncertainty in the recordings. Something
raw. I laid down acoustic versions of them on my 8 track, so that
Kristina could write string arrangements. [which I am still completely
stunned by] So after much preparation, we drove down to San Jose,
a flurry of excitement and electricity. Jeff Conlon was to meet
us there to film the process, and it all felt so complete and
graceful. It felt to me as though all things in the universe were
impeccably aligned. I felt calm and present. Connected. We loaded
in an inordinate amount of equipment, and began as always with
the mics for the drums. There was a Peets coffee just down the
street, so all of those mornings found Kristina and I stealing
away for coffee and bagels as time permitted; tea in the afternoon.
We didn’t have to twist Ron’s arm. And the process
was gorgeous. We did all of the songs on either the first or second
take. Before the first day was done, we already had the strings
nearly finished. By the end of the next day, they were complete,
as well as a good majority of the guitar overdubs, and the vocals.
Though madly frustrated and disappointed with the voice [as always]
I did three of the four on the first take. Oh, how things change.
So Conlon filmed those first two days, Sarah was again there to
play violin, and it all moved so gently that it was almost frightening.
The path did become a bit more arduous, as what we thought would
take two more days ended up taking four. But these songs, so big
and lush, tracked and mixed in six days was really quite fast.
Brett, the engineer, while amazingly sweet, essentially left the
mixing to us. I found myself simultaneously super excited and
completely overwhelmed. I swear the mixing console was about the
size of my bed. Quite a jump from the 8-track.
And so it was. Amidst a flurry of complications, the ep was done.
Oh, there were little things, like Kristina and I staying at a
motel 6 to avoid driving, but sleeping in a ‘smoking’
room which was absolutely disgusting; labored breath, all fucking
night. I felt so dirty in the morning. Ron certainly made the
right choice in going home. There was the one day where it seemed
like everything was hopeless and impossible, until I tracked the
guitar melody on the chorus of ‘those who have sinned’,
in one take at the tired end of the day. There was the afternoon
where Ron set up 4 or 5 or 6 amps, and made this gorgeous loop
that creates the wall of sound at the beginning of ‘Insect
: Parasite.’ Completely enveloping.
The ep is in some way attempting to be an exploration of the earth’s
elements and how they are effected by the increasing modernity
of our world. Insect : Parasite is primarily about religion in
our post-modern, western, ‘uber-culture‘. ‘Those
Who Have Sinned,’ about our stealing the land and miraculous
culture away from the Native Americans. ‘Twenty Seconds’
is about Dana, and the difficulty of remaining spiritually close
amidst great physical distance …written four and a half
years ago, it previously appeared on ‘Where Stillness Breathes.’
‘The children You Should Know,’ is about the inherent
innocence of youth, and the world’s need to recognize the
great beauty of us artists out here…written on Dana’s
couch around Christmastime, as she slept upstairs in the loft.
We were Dog-sitting chifi: This tiny little gray puff ball, that
bounced in such a regal manner when he walked. I could go on and
on.
We took the four songs to Ron’s and he mastered it. It is
so big and loud and dynamic and expansive. The enormity that I
so desired staring me in the eyes. Sadly though, I’m quite
displeased. Not sure why. It just sounds busy and muddy to me.
Infantile somehow. Immature. Maybe I just need some time and space
which is often the best medicine. Or maybe my expectations are
too high. I want to make ‘the bends’ but fail to remember
how absurd that is considering the circumstances. And The Day
After Leaving becomes its own self fulfilling prophecy. A giant
bird, with wings spread and flapping. So close to the ear that
the wind dies, becomes silent and invisible. And all that remains
are feathers crashing. Loud and beautiful. Soft.
TRACK LISTING
1. 1. Insect : Parasite
2. Waiting for the
Hour (click to listen to the MP3)
3. Twenty Seconds
4. The Children You
Should Know (click to listen to the MP3) |
